Putting aside for a moment that our world has become one in which "everyone must chop breakfast," how do you think we can cope with heartbreak? Do you accept your fate, as it is the new norm now, or do you silently hope for a swift healing process?
The subject of today's mental health journey is how we, as adolescents and youths, can deal with heartbreaks. We interviewed a 23-year-old lady, and she talked about her heartbreak experience and how she dealt with it.
How do you define heartbreak?
I believe heartbreak is an intense and overwhelming sorrow, grief, or disappointment. It's a form of emotional suffering that comes after ending a relationship or love affair.
Do you think it is normal?
Yes, it is. After all, we are humans, and we have emotions. At some point in our lives, we may experience disappointment from a loved one, or someone we love may hurt us. Those things happen, and it does not mean they are bad in any way.
Have you ever been heartbroken?
Yes, I have
Did you blame yourself or the victim at any point?
Well, I did blame myself every time it crossed my mind. The cause of the breakup or the mistake that led to the end of the relationship could have been avoided.
Did it lead to any form of Depression?
Yes, it did. I saw myself in some way which I never did. I wasn't able to do what I loved doing, and I wasn't able to cope with my academics.
Most time, I loved being alone in my room. I won't even open my door if anyone comes knocking, gradually my smiles are fading, and most times, all I do is cry, and it felt like my heart was ripping apart.
If yes, how did you handle it?
Okay, I could get over it by talking to my best friend in whom I confide. My most trusted person, generally, he consoled me, took me on vacation, we went to see movies, and I found out something new about myself, which is how much I love going out to parties and clubbing. Eventually, I became happy once again, and my beautiful smile returned due to going out.
Did your friends judge you even though you're the victim?
Well, they did because some of them didn't want me to be in that relationship, to begin with, but I was only concerned with giving someone a chance, but after the breakup, my friends blamed me for leaving.
Did you go for therapy at any point?
No, I did not.
Do you think going for therapy is an important part of the healing process?
Well, I can't say it’s the best, because not everybody has the ability to talk about their problems, some don't even like confiding in people. So, people like that wouldn't want to go on therapy, but as for me, I confided in my best friend. Telling him stuff made me happy, the fact that when I told him about my relationship, it felt like a burden was being removed from my shoulders, and I felt good and happy. Then it felt like I was undergoing therapy because I saw myself happy and smiling after our conversation. Therapy works for some people while it doesn't work for some.
What are the major decisions you made after the heartbreak?
Well, I didn't make a major decision. All I did was never let the mistake in my previous relationship repeat itself. As I began to believe in myself more, I insisted on love in relationships or friendships that do not reciprocate.
What are the best steps to getting over a heartbreak?
Accept that the relationship has ended, and it's time to move on. Although it is painful to hear this, it is important to stop fantasizing that you can get back together, that this is just a phase, or that you are on a temporary break.
As one is trying to accept the breakup, it is good to forgive, be a bigger person, and try to forgive whether it is your fault or not the relationship ended. When one does that, it feels like an anvilis coming off one's shoulder burden is lighter, pain is lesser.
Do not avoid the pain:
The worst thing one can do after heartbreak is to avoid the pain when a person blocks or avoids heartache, which is unhealthy.
Face your pain, cry, vent, do not hide your feelings. When you cry or when memories keep flashing back and it hurt, and you cry, it does not mean you are weak. It is a brave step to moving on.
Go out and Socialize;
Do not sulk at home. Go out and socialize, spend time with your friends, meet new people, visit new places, go on vacation. You'll feel better.
Other things I believe you can try out includes;
Sharing what you feel with a trusted person.
Doing what you love