Dealing with heartbreak: Coping with rejection

Everyone has experienced some form of heartbreak, and today I must have you know that the word "heartbreak" does not only cater to relationships. You can get heartbroken when you lose a loved one to death, get rejected for a job, or lose a lot of money.

People tend to look at heartbreak only in the relationship aspect because that is where people tend to express it the most, not that this is bad. But here is the thing, just because Ada isn’t crying over being fired doesn’t mean she isn’t heartbroken about it.

Many people tend to term heartbreak as simple sadness or say they “feel bad” about something that has happened to them.

There was someone I knew who faced heartbreak but would not term it as such; they had applied for a job and waited days for a reply, talking about how well they would do in the position, only to get rejected. Their zeal died almost immediately, and they said they only felt bad about it because they really needed the job. 

In my opinion, feeling bad about a situation would not lead you to lie in bed for days and be lethargic.

Heartbreak as a topic is very broad and has many subtopics underneath it. In this article, we’ll be talking about coping with rejection.

Coping mechanisms are very normal and arise in all aspects of life, like how you go to the gym to work off anger or tend to focus on every other thing except the thing that made you feel some type of way. All of these are some form of coping mechanisms.

Today I'd like to share a few strategies you can use when coping with rejection.

1. Recognize that rejection is a part of life

Everyone faces rejection at some point. It is a part of life that can't be changed. You need to mould your mind to recognize this. Rejection can lead to positive change too. 

2. Accept what happened

The longer you spend trying to convince yourself that what happened does not matter, the worse the pain and disappointment you feel. You’ve been let down and that’s okay; acknowledge it. It will help in the long run.

3. Process your emotions

Work on processing your emotions. You don’t want to get angry and end up hurting others, do you? Getting hurt does not give you the right to hurt others. Take several deep breaths, and write down your feelings on paper if need be. Allow yourself to feel the hurt; it will help you move on faster.

4. Treat yourself with compassion

It’s okay to take some time and think about the situation, everyone would do that too, but it becomes a problem when you overthink the situation and neglect other aspects of your life. Don’t beat yourself up, be compassionate and know that better opportunities will come.

5. Don’t allow rejection to define you

It's understandable that your first response to rejection may be to wonder what is wrong with you but remember, not everyone agrees that strawberries are sour. Keep being yourself and you will attract those who appreciate what you bring to the table. You could also find out if you need to upskill to get that job or modify certain negative behaviours to keep the next relationship.

6. Grow from the experience

Rejection hurts, but dwelling on what you did wrong does you no good. Look at it from a different perspective. Is there anything you can learn from this? If you were passed over for a job, could you get some constructive feedback to build up your resume? If you got turned down for a date, could they just not be right for you? Trust that whatever may have been the reason for the rejection is necessary for your growth.

I'm rooting for you and I hope this article gives you the necessary push you need to kick off the pain of rejection and move on!