Philophobia (Fear of Love)

Love can be one of the most beautiful and amazing parts of life, but it can also be frightening. While some apprehensiveness is normal, some find the thought of falling in love terrifying.

Philophobia is the fear of love or of becoming emotionally connected with another person. It shares many of the same traits as other specific phobias, particularly social phobias. And it can significantly impact your life if not treated.

Causes of Philophobia

The fear of falling in love has many potential causes, including:

1. Past experiences: Traumatic past relationships may contribute to the development of the fear of falling in love. Infidelity, betrayal, or heartbreak can cause you to stay away from romantic relationships. Other types of relationships can also give someone this fear, like parental relationships and close friendships.
2. Cultural experiences: In some cultures, there’s more pressure to marry at a young age under specific circumstances. If someone does not want to have this traditional experience, it can lead to philophobia.
3. Fear of rejection: Putting yourself out there can be scary. Studies show that rejection can have similar results in the body to physical pain. Most people are able to get over rejection, but if you have experienced several painful rejections, the fear of another one can stay with you.

Symptoms of Philophobia 

Symptoms can vary from person to person. They can include both emotional and physical reactions when even thinking about falling in love:

1. Feelings of intense fear or panic
2. Avoidance
3. Sweating
4. Rapid heartbeat
5. Difficulty breathing
6. Difficulty functioning
7. Nausea

Diagnosis of Philophobia

Philophobia is not a condition that a doctor can diagnose because it is not in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the guide used by mental health professionals to determine if someone has the criteria for a specific mental illness or mental health disorder. Even so, mental health professionals can often help with philophobia if it is affecting your life negatively.

Complications of Philophobia 

1. Social isolation
2. Depression and Anxiety disorders
3. Abuse of drugs and alcohol
4. Suicide

Treatment of Philophobia

You can work with a mental health professional. They may go over your past relationships to identify what is causing your fear of falling in love. 

1. Counseling
2. Relaxation exercise
3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
4. Systematic Desensitization Therapy (Counterconditioning): This is when the therapist slowly exposes you to the idea of falling in love to desensitize you to your fear. They may give you real-world tasks as you get more comfortable with the idea of falling in love.
5. Hypnotherapy: It is more like a guided meditation that enables you to imagine yourself doing what you would like to do.

How to Work on Philophobia On Your Own

You can also do things on your own to help with your fear of falling in love. You can work on these exercises alone or with a therapist:

1. Evaluate your relationship history to see if a past hurt is making you afraid of repeating the experience in a new relationship
2. Identify negative voices in your head that prevent you from feeling happy in relationships
3. Allow yourself to feel difficult emotions; that is how you can move through them
4. Question or evaluate the preconceived notions you have about relationships
5. Recognize where the defenses that prevent you from opening up to people come from

Tips for supporting someone with philophobia

If someone you know has a phobia such as philophobia, there are things you can do to help:

1. Recognize that it is a serious fear, even if you have trouble understanding it.
2. Educate yourself about phobias.
3. Don’t pressure them to do things they’re not ready to do.
4. Encourage them to seek help if it seems appropriate, and help them find that help.
5. Ask them how you can help support them.

Conclusion

Philophobia — a fear of love — can negatively affect your ability to have meaningful relationships. A painful breakup, divorce, abandonment, or rejection during childhood or adulthood may make you afraid to fall in love. Psychotherapy (talk therapy) can help you overcome this specific phobic disorder.

References

1) https://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/what-is-philophobia

2) https://www.healthline.com/health/philophobia