Female Genital Mutilation

YOU CAN MOVE ON.

Dear Maliza,
I'm sorry you were traumatized 20 years ago. I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I was only a housekeeper in your father’s house and had nothing to offer.
On the day of your birth, you looked so beautiful, and graceful, a child full of bright hopes. I carried you with joy and hoped that someday, I would write this letter.
Dear, I couldn't stop your mother from taking you to that old village hut where children are brought for female genital mutilation. I couldn't hold back the tears as I watched you groan and wail. Oh, poor Mali.
It's many years after and you have grown into a beautiful young woman. I know you would have many questions but I am here to answer one of those questions.
I do not know why they did it, but they cut off your clitoris, I heard them say that they want you to be well-groomed, and decent. Has it been the tradition for years I am sorry you are a survivor.
I'm writing to assure you that one can move on from that ugly event, you can move on. How?
Stop Hurting: Holding on to the past can be a conscious decision just like letting go and moving forward can be a conscious decision. One of the best ways to heal from hurts is to learn lessons from the situation and use those to focus forward momentum. If you get stuck in thinking about what “should have been,” you can become immobilized in painful feelings and memories. When you start practicing being present, your hurts have less control over you, and you have more freedom to choose how you want to respond to your life.
Become an advocate against FGM: You can have great influence over the practices performed in your own families as well as within their communities. There are many ways that you can get involved to help end FGM/C and support survivors of FGM/C. One way is through education- for yourself, for your community, and for your peers.
Support and advocate for empowerment of women and girls in your community: Advocate for the rights of women and girls. Help them learn more about their rights. Encourage women and girls to continue their education. Speak out against all forms of gender-based violence (GBV).
Join support groups: Many support groups help women survive the brunt of FGM in Nigeria. To mention a few,
The Girl Generation
 UNFPA UNICEF Joint Programme on the Elimination of Female Genital Mutilation
HACEY Health initiative
Discuss your concerns about your healthcare with your healthcare providers: You can play an active role in your healthcare by talking with your doctor or healthcare provider. Clear, honest communication between the healthcare team can help you both make informed choices about your health. It’s important to be honest about your symptoms even if you might feel embarrassed. Ask questions to make sure you understand your diagnosis, treatment, and recovery. Don't be afraid to seek help.
See a therapist: It may be a good idea to track your thoughts, patterns, and behaviors by keeping a journal between therapy sessions. This can be especially helpful if you are shy or find it difficult to remember things on the spot. Opening up is tough, and it may not come easily, especially when just getting to know your therapist. To help assist you with opening up, some therapists may give you an assessment to take to better understand you and your needs as their patient and help create a plan for future sessions. Regardless, confiding in your therapist makes it easy to heal from these effects.

I hope this is helpful. And if not, you can write me back. Till I write to you again, cheers!

Your Nanny,
Lisa