Conquering Self-Esteem Issues
What is Self-Esteem?
Have you ever walked into a room and felt like you didn’t belong?
Looked into a mirror and immediately picked out flaws in how you look?
Or observed the people around you as they do amazing things and think you could never measure up? Even when you can do the things they can?
You're not alone. sometimes we feel that way too.
If you think hard about it, you'll realise a lot of people go through this every day.
These intrusive thoughts can be caused by high scrutiny from others and self, poor self-image, lack of contentment etc… all of these could lead to self-esteem issues.
Self-esteem is basically how we value and perceive ourselves. It's the assessment of our worth, value and ability. A person can either have high or low self-esteem both of which have their marked traits.
High self-esteem is often associated with positive emotions, resilience, and our ability to cope with challenges. While low self-esteem can lead to negative self-talk, self-doubt, and feelings of worthlessness. That little voice inside our head that says ‘you're not good enough, you're fat, you're not cut out for this’ and so on…
Types of Self-Esteem
Across different sources, you’ll find that the types of self-esteem change depending on how uniquely it's defined. However, in this article, we’ll be giving you the two types mentioned above.
High self-esteem
People with this type of self-esteem accept and value themselves. It's a type of self-esteem that is known to be positive, as it manages to make the person satisfied with their life. Does this imply that there will not be barriers or walls to be scaled? Absolutely not! But the confidence in oneself and the courage to face any problems that may arise make everything much easier.
Low self-esteem
People who have low self-esteem are the opposite of those with high self-esteem. They don't believe in their worth, they don't trust in their possibilities, and the insecurity that they may be feeling is carried over into almost every situation. Fear of failure is something that torments them and continuously holds them back.
Factors that influence self-esteem
- Family environment: A family is the first school for an individual. A child's life is mainly influenced by the family environment; it's the primary source of social development. And its influence on a child's self-esteem is often overlooked, children are like sponges, they soak up whatever surrounds them, and this includes negative or positive words. It's therefore, necessary to speak positively to a child, to help them boost their self-esteem.
- Achievement: Academic achievement and achievement of one’s goals related to their hobbies play a crucial role in forming a positive, healthy view of the self.
- Physical appearance: Physical characteristics such as hair, figure, height, weight, and skin colour may also influence the self-esteem of an individual.
- Self-belief: A person who has high confidence levels may learn things quickly, and trust that they can complete tasks to a good standard and this subsequently may boost their self-esteem.
- Task proficiency: This includes the skills required for performing tasks and the ability to complete the task. Task proficiency influences the personality of an individual as well as their self-esteem level.
- Feedback, friends and others: Positive & Negative messages and feedback from friends and others may boost or break an individual’s self-esteem. Be careful with your words folks!
- 6 Ways of improving self-esteem
Do you know it's possible to build your self-esteem and have a healthy belief in who you are? So, we need to ask ourselves, how can I improve my self-esteem? There are many useful ways to do this, let's show you some of them:
- Stop comparing yourself to others: This is a very vicious cycle to get stuck in, especially with the increased thirst for social media validation. If there's one thing we hope you take from this article, is the truth that "things aren't what they seem" and someone’s life is probably not as perfect as they portray on social media. We hope this helps you to stop unhealthy comparisons of yourself to others.
- Stop belittling yourself: Ask yourself, would I talk to a loved one or friend this way? We need to stop beating ourselves up and be kinder to ourselves. Treat yourself as you would want others to treat you. Speak and think positively about yourself. Remember you're your biggest cheerleader!
- Surround yourself with positive, supportive people: When you are around positive, supportive people, you feel better about yourself and your self-esteem will increase.
- Dwell on your positive qualities: Make a list and read it often. Most people dwell on their negative qualities, which lowers self-esteem. Take out a notepad and write out some of your greatest qualities, and make a daily habit of reminding yourself of these qualities. This will greatly boost your confidence in yourself.
- Give back: Not necessarily in a financial way, When you do things for others, you feel your value and importance.
- Pay attention to self-care: Get enough sleep, do some physical activity and spend some time outside, and do something that you enjoy. Never let your body shut down on you as a result of extreme tiredness. Learn to listen to your body and rest!
Other ways of improving your self-esteem include:
Talk to a mental health professional
Accept some flaws
Silence critical inner voice
Try something new
Improve relationships
Recognize defence mechanisms
Developing and maintaining healthy self-esteem is an important aspect of overall mental health and well-being. And we hope you come along on this journey of conquering self-esteem issues.
Until next time – Stay positive.
Hakuna Matata!
References
https://declutterthemind.com/blog/how-to-overcome-low-self-esteem/
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