Am I a Body-Shamer?

It all starts with comments like “you’re looking fat o”, “you’ve lost weight”.
Before deciding if you’re a bodyshamer or not, let’s first understand what body shaming means.

What Does Body Shaming Mean?

 Body shaming implies making inappropriate or depreciating comments about a person’s body size or stature, hence making the addressed individual uncomfortable or insecure about how they look. It can occur either physically or online.

Causes of Body Shaming
 The major cause of body shaming can be said to be social media. The most prominent message is often that you should go all-out for the perfect body and find ways to hide your flaws. This can have a huge influence on how you perceive your body image.
Also, there’s this common perception that dictates that there’s a certain way to look; a perfect body shape or type, and when you do not look this way, you’re subject to criticism from society. This can sometimes make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin.

These factors make it easy to air inappropriate comments about people's body size and shape.

Types of Body Shaming
- Fat Shaming
  In a society that values thinness, fat Shaming exists at an alarming rate. This refers to the usage of the word "fat" to demean the way someone looks. We have to understand that being fat or having fat in one's body does not mean an unhealthy body state. Hence, society needs to desist from using the word "fat" as a negative. In a situation whereby an individual is being fat shamed, comments like "you look fat" would be aired.

- Figure Flattering/Skinny Shaming
  There are individuals who no matter what they eat, they never seem to add on weight. This set of individuals are usually subject to skinny shaming or figure flattering, they face the "dress for your body type" and "your collarbones are so evident, why don't you cover them up" comments. Instead of throwing comments such as this around, we can do "you look lovely/great" type of comments.

- Pretty Shaming
   This is pretty much common. It is simply downplaying an individual's intelligence because he/she looks pretty. Yes, it's been done in our society today, you hear comments like "oh, I thought you'd be an airhead". This isn't right, we are not to judge an individual's intelligence just because of how he/she looks.

• - Food Shaming
     This indicates shaming an individual for not eating what you'll deem as a controlled portion of food. In this instance, comments such as "do you need to eat all of that", "you eat like a bird" are usually uttered. This is indirect body shaming, such an individual starts to feel uncomfortable with their portion of food. Fine, there's something called "portion control", but that doesn't mean you should criticise an individual for the portion of food they eat, just because you think it isn't appropriate.

   
Who is a Body-Shamer?
    Before the main question of if you're a body-shamer or not is answered, we need to understand who a body-shamer is.     A body-shamer is someone who subjects another to body shaming. Basically, a body-shamer is someone who criticises or mocks another person because of their body size or stature.

Am I a Body-shamer?
    Now, onto the question "am I a body-shamer?" Well, if you happen to make another person uncomfortable with their body size or stature through mocking or inappropriate comments, then you're a body-shamer. Whether you're doing it intentionally or unintentionally, it doesn't change that fact, but you can change the act. It all starts with you being nicer and cautious with your choice of words when complimenting someone, either in a serious or joking instance. So instead of telling someone that they look skinny or fat, compliment them on their dressing, telling them how good/gorgeous/handsome they look.

Conclusion
      For the one dishing out the inappropriate comments, desist from doing such, as it is making another individual feel insecure about their body, instead, utter sincere words of positive compliments to make them feel loved and comfortable. And for  the one at the receiving end of those comments, we understand that it's not easy for you to take in such things, but we encourage you to stop taking those negative words in, instead, keep speaking positive words to yourself. They may not  sound realistic at first, but they'll later be an integral part of you.
   

References

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/body-shaming.htm 
https://www.insider.com/things-that-are-actually-body-shaming-2018-7#youre-so-lucky-you-can-eat-whatever-you-want-10 
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-body-shaming-5202216#:~:text=Body%20shaming%20is%20the%20act,or%20level%20of%20perceived%20attractiveness. 
https://www.girlscouts.org/en/raising-girls/happy-and-healthy/happy/body-shaming-girls.html