What my first sexual experience taught me as a girl

This article is for educational purposes. 

From believing sex is a big deal to unraveling the mystery behind it and realizing sex is as great as you make it to be, I have come to understand that your first sexual experience needs a lot more preparedness. 

My very first sexual experience exposed me firsthand to learning and unlearning a lot, with the realization that young women need more open mindedness before having sex for the first time.

1. Communication is Key
Open and honest communication lays the groundwork for a positive experience.

• Share your feelings: Let your partner know what you’re comfortable with, what you’re curious about, and any concerns or boundaries you have.
• Discuss expectations: Talk about what you both hope to experience and any desires or fantasies.
• Express discomfort: If something makes you uneasy, say so. Listening to each other’s boundaries helps build trust.

2. Foreplay Matters

Foreplay includes activities that help you feel more relaxed, comfortable, and aroused (e.g., kissing, touching, cuddling, or even massage).

• Increase comfort: Foreplay can enhance natural lubrication and overall enjoyment.
• Use lube if needed: Plenty of water-based lubrication can reduce discomfort, Note: Saliva is not lube.
• Explore gently: Go slow and pay attention to what feels good for both of you.

3. Take Your Time

There’s no need to rush into anything.

• Move at your own pace: Pay attention to your body and emotions, and don’t feel pressured to meet any timeline.
• Build comfort: Taking things slow can help ease any nervousness or anxiety and make the experience more enjoyable.

4. Explore Different Positions

While some people stick to the “missionary” position at first, it’s okay to try alternatives.

• Find comfort: Look for positions that feel good for your body. Comfort and safety come first.
• Experiment: If you both feel ready and curious, explore what works best for you. However, it’s perfectly fine to stay with whatever makes you feel most secure.

5. No Pressure

It’s your first time—go easy on yourself.

• There’s no rulebook: You don’t have to have penetrative sex, reach orgasm, or do anything you aren’t ready for.
• Enjoy the moment: Focus on closeness, communication, and learning about each other.

A Note for Male Partners 

• No means no: Consent can be withdrawn at any time. If you sense your partner is uncomfortable, uncertain, or “zoning out,” stop immediately and talk about how they’re feeling.
• Respect boundaries: Everyone has the right to feel safe and respected at all times.

It’s important to recognize that everyone’s experience is unique, and there is no "one-size-fits-all" approach to sexual experiences. 

Always prioritize mutual consent, comfort, and safety. If you're unsure or have any concerns, consider talking to a healthcare professional using www.askthedochq.com